Every life has a path

Yesterday while looking at Sue's pictures in the quiet of my home, I felt her presence. Inside the feelings of grief for the loss of my friend resurfaced and I felt so sad. I have missed our conversations and our working together side by side. I've missed our emails and the just plain sharing of fun times together. Most of all I miss 'her'. Sue was a great human being, one of those gals that everyone liked.

I just sat there alone and thought about how each of us has one life and one life path. Only God knows the direction and only God can say when it is time to come Home. I felt tears swelling in my eyes, when at the same moment I felt Sue's presence with me. It was as if she was telling me to stop grieving because she was 'ok' and that she and Tom were together and all was well with her soul....and she wanted all to be well with mine.

I felt a quiet peace about things, because every now and then I need a gentle reminder that this crazy life here on earth is not the end...but only the beginning, a stepping stone that leads down a path to something far greater than any of us can ever understand.

.....I will still miss Sue every day of my life.....yet, even beyond the veil, she lets me know that all is well.

If you could see what I see

Dear sweet Sue,

I saw your son the other day. My how he is changing, growing, and becoming a fine young man that you would be proud of. He has lost weight and still carries that joy-filled smile that he always wore when you were around. You would be so proud of him, as I know you are, looking down from Heaven.

I wanted to cry after he left the store. Why? Because I wished so badly that you were still here to see how much he has changed over this last year. I still believe with all of my heart that God has a special purpose for your son, a special graciousness, and meaning for his life. Perhaps he will be more of a blessing to others than you or I can even realize. He has been a blessing to me, just by his outward grace, humility and love.

You did a great thing to bring such a fine man into this world, and this world is a better place because you and he are in it.

With love,

Your friend

It's been a year

It's been a year now since you left us, Sue. But I want you to know that I still feel your presence and I know that you are not so far away as I think.

On the 19th I wore a very large sunflower to work, in rememberance of you. On the 20th, I happened to look up from my work area in time to watch a woman walking out of the store. Clutched in her arm was her bag, which at Walmart one does not normally carry their bag like that....but she did. Bouncing out from the top of her bag was a HUGE artificial sunflower. It was bobbing and dancing in her bag and facing me. I couldn't help but smile because I know you put my eyes in her direction to see that at that very moment as a reminder to me that you are still with all of us.

We love you, Sue. And we always will.

The "things" we leave behind

As many times as I have driven near my friends home, I've never mustered the courage to turn down her street and drive by her house. That was, until just the other day. I drove down her street and past her home. Both Sue and her husband have passed within the last year, yet there it was. Their home, their refuge from the rest of the world, stood waiting, waiting for them to 'come home'. I had to make a U turn, and drive past the home again, slowly, almost stopping for a moment. How I remember walking up that sidewalk and ringing the doorbell. How I remember Sue's doggies barking at me as if to say, "I'm having you for dinner!" But now the house sits empty, probably going through the Probate Court, and then, who knows, possibly to sell and to become some other family's 'home'. As I drove to my own home, I had a flurry of thoughts swirling through my head. It seemed so surreal that Sue was gone. How could she be? Her house was sitting right there waiting for her to come home. It just couldn't be real that she would never pass through that door again. Never be with family on this earth again. Never pet her doggies or sing to her birdies. It seemed an unimaginable impossiblitiy that I would never run into Sue and her son as we both went shopping at the same time more than once. When we die, we leave precious family members, friends, and neighbors behind. We also leave 'things' behind as well. Homes, clothes, pictures, pets, things that are meaningful to us, trinkets, furniture, you name it. Our 'things' do not go away when we do. They are still very much here and stand, just like Sue's home, screaming out loud and clear....calling. Calling for Sue to 'come home.' We come into this world with nothing and leave the same way. We cannot take earthy posessions with us and why would we anyway? Heaven is perfectly furnished and there's no mortgage to worry about. Maybe I'll drive by Sue's home again one day, and I'll think about the things we leave behind. I'll remember to value what's important in life and that is caring about the people around me. When I do that, I won't be so concerned about the 'things' I have or don't. My treasure will be in Heaven. Sue has found the greatest treasures of all by going ahead. In a way, that makes her a very lucky soul. The next time I muster the courage to drive past Sue's earthly home and wish that she were still living in it, I'll remind myself that an earthly house is just a 'thing'....and the real treasure is in Heaven!

Let it rain!

As the anniversary of my dear friend's passing approaches, I am thinking about her more and more. It's strange because it feels as though it was just yesterday when we were laughing (and griping) together at work and talking about anything and everything. I'll never forget one special day that I spent with Sue.

It was raining a drenching rain, and I remember asking Sue this question as we watched the downpour. "Do you wanna go out and get wet?" She said, "Sure, lets go!" And, as we watched customers waiting at the doorway for the rain to subside, Sue and I went out in it, put our arms up and twirled around for a few moments, letting the giant raindrops hit us all over. People thought we were nuts to go out into the pouring rain but we didn't care. We were just having fun. Boy was it cold! And we stayed soggy for the rest of our shifts at work even though we hardly noticed for the fun of that moment. Every once in awhile you just have to let the child within come out, and that's what we did. Gosh I miss Sue. She loved life and loved having fun in it. She worked hard, loved her children and husband, and was nice to everyone that I ever saw her around. People loved Sue. I loved her and still do. And, as the anniversary of her passing draws closer, I will visit her grave. I'll place a sunflower where she rests, because sunflowers were her favorite flower. And, if I'm lucky, it will be raining that day and I can remember the first anniversary of her passing with a smile for the sweet memory that she and I alone shared on a rainy day.