To Everything There is a Season

Empty is how I feel

As your passing becomes more real

If I could have asked God why

He took you to the sky

Perhaps He'd give this reason

That to everything a season

A time to be born and a time to die

I just wish I could have said good-bye

Shining Star

A star shines bright in Heaven
Throughout the dark of night
A star that glows more radiant
As it burns with Holy Light
A star shines in it's glory
To remind us of God's love
That this life is but a whisper
To all that waits above

Coming to the Garden

A precious friend shared this photograph with me. It comes from Pennsylvania....where the beauty and the tranquility of such a sacred structure is an inspiration to all who see it. I asked her if I could use this on Sue's tribute and she graciously said yes. You don't see churches like this in Las Vegas. I don't think there's so much as one. As I looked at this picture it reminded me of that sacred, older hymn, about coming to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses....and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.......my sweet friend is enjoying the sweet smelling gardens in Heaven, where the roses are more fragrant and the sky is a deeper blue....and the mountains stretch as far as the eye can see in all of their glory. She came to the garden alone, just as we all must do, and in the blink of an eye Heaven was opened to her in all of its amazing glory. I can't imagine how spectacular the view is.....or how peaceful and serene......just as lovely as a beautiful white church in the Pennsylvania countryside!

To The Better Place

God took you to the better place

Away from worldy care

God took you to His loving arms

And brought you safely there

He said you journey was complete

And your mission on earth done

He took you to the better place

By light of morning sun

For the Birds

Sue used to bring her cell phone to work. Instead of the normal ring or ringtone when it went off, it sounded like a bunch of birds in her pocket. We always used to chuckle about it, as she stepped away from the counter to talk to her son or husband for a moment. Some time ago she used to sing this silly song with another coworker about 'Flying birds over the ocean....' and always off key but always amusing.

The day of Sue's passing another coworker and I were standing at the Courtesy Desk and remembering how Sue's phone would go off and the sounds of birds making us chuckle. We got some customers and went back to work, when all of a sudden the loudest bird chirping you ever would hear came from across the store by the check outs. My coworker looked at me, and said, "Did you hear that?" I said, "Sounded like birds." Just a few moments later it happened again, as LOUD as you could imagine, the chirping of birds! We both knew that Sue was letting us know that she was alright and that she was safely on the Other Side. It was a great comfort to hear those birds chirping, even though it was just some guy making bird calls and one of the most difficult days of my life. After Sue's memorial service we were walking away and the loudest Mocking Bird began to squawk from the top of a nearby tree. I looked around the entire cemetary and there were no other birds visable in the trees...only the one by her gravesite, and he was singing at the top of his lungs. I snapped his picture and had to stop and watch him for a moment.....as he was a reminder to me and to all who heard him that Sue was with us and always would be!

Grief

As strange as this might sound, coming from a 54 year old woman, I guess that I should count myself lucky, for I have lived this long and never truly experienced the grief and loss of someone that I loved. Sure, my father is gone, and my mother too, but we were never close. I've lost all of my grandparents whom, I loved, although most I never knew. I think of them and love them, despite the distance between our hearts. But this time things are so different. I have lost not only a coworker, but a friend whom was my friend away from the job as well. She called me every day when I was recently in the hospital to check on me, and when I was able to come to work, she brought me yellow flowers. When I had a hypoglycemic episode at work, she came to work with a medic alert bracelet, that I still wear today. She and I emailed back and forth when we were not at work, and had the best of times when on the job. We sang, we worked, we fought, and we laughed. Yesterday morning when I opened the Courtesy Desk where we worked, I took a moment to look at the register next to me that she used to operate. I looked at the empty space that she used to occupy and the floor that she used to stand on. I never saw such emptiness as this in my entire life. The pain of her loss is very very deep. It cuts to my soul and pierces my heart like no other pain I have ever felt in fifty four years on this planet. Sue meant so much to every person who was privilaged to ever know her. It didn't matter if you were black, white, asian, native, short, tall, fat, thin, Catholic, Mormon, Jew, or Christian. Sue cared about everybody unconditionally. She was the best friend I will ever have in my entire life and although I know for a fact she is safe and on the Other Side, it still doesn't ease the pain of not having her here anymore. I'll never forget one of the last times I had with her. We were at work. And I don't know what made me do this. We didn't have anymore customers......and something made me 'look' at Sue. I simply turned and looked at her, silently, from head to toe, without a real thought about it. I just looked at her as if my soul was prompting me to do so. Perhaps it was. Perhaps my soul knew that Sue would be leaving soon and it didn't want to forget how great she looked and how wonderful she was. I just can't believe that for the rest of my life she won't be here......that is the difficult part....that is the 'grief' that I have never experienced before and that is a very tough thing to deal with.

3.29.08 Written for Sue

I search the sky for answers
And the quiet space you filled
I'm not sure why you had to leave us
But it was what our God had willed
You will forever be remembered
By your friendship sweet and dear
And as I live through each new day
I'll wish you were still here

You are missed

Yellow Fingerprints from Heaven

Today a coworker shared a story with me about how she got up to come to work this morning and on her car were a bunch of yellow fingerprints. She said she felt that Sue had place them on her car to remind her of their friendship.

Yellow was Sue's favorite color and she often wore it. She was buried in her favorite yellow t shirt and surrounded by gifts and mementos from everyone who loved her.

In reality the yellow on my friends car was pollen that was falling from the trees here, but why it attached itself only to the fingerprints is beyond either of us to understand.

But we both knew that it was Sue who put her hands upon that car and touched it with the golden yellow of the streets that are paved with gold and from Heaven itself.

We are very thankful for those yellow fingerprints because they reminded us both that love never dies.....it lasts forever....and ever....just like a friendship as strong as we shared with Sue.

Somewhere in Heaven

On March 19th, 2008, my best friend passed away. She was only 52 and was loved so much by everyone we worked with. She and I worked together doing customer service and worked just a couple of feet away from each other. I miss her so much. We lay her to rest on Wednesday, March 26, 2008 in a beautiful Memorial Park here in Las Vegas.

It is so unfair to lose someone so young and who touched the lives of everyone she met.

I have created this BLOG as a loving tribute to the most amazing human being I think that I will ever meet.......sweet Sue.......I miss you so much.

Somewhere in Heaven there is a star that shines the brightest, and that's because it's you and you are there and watching over all of us.